The Ruining Of A Romantic Moment
by TaurenLeaf
Summary: Many romantic moments, ruined in the most unexpected ways! [Newest chapter: ShikaTema]
1. First Kiss, First Screw Up

**Disclaimer: Naruto—not mine.**

**The Ruining of a Romantic Moment**

TaurenLeaf **Primary**

_Just imagine Sasuke…Sasuke-kun…He is Sasuke. He. Is. Sasuke. Yes, I got it._ Sakura took a deep breath and looked ahead. It wasn't like she had a choice, it was a promise, you see, and Sakura was taught to never break a promise.

_Oh, shit…lost it. Err, okay, Sasuke-kun...Sasuke…_And you ask: why did she make a promise that she didn't want to keep? Well, simply put, it was a deal.

Taijutsu training for…can you believe it? A kiss.

And you really couldn't blame her, with all the nonsense spilling out of that boy's mouth, one learns to ignore it all. She just wasn't listening. Who knew that a small little "yes, sure" would lead to this?

Sakura cringed, for more than the first time that day. She was putting all her concentration on imagining Sasuke—and it was hard. In no way was this man—no, this boy, like Sasuke-kun. For instance, his mouth. It was truly an ugly mouth, those thin and slimy lips…they were nothing, really, _nothing_ like Sasuke's. (She will admit that she was caught more than once staring at those…those delicious, _perfect_ lips.)

But the challenge only urged Sakura to try harder… More minutes passed as she stupidly repeated '_Sasuke'_ in her mind.

"Sakura-san? Sakura-san…I think the best place for our wonderful and lustful kiss would be under that blossoming tree of blossoming cherry blossoms. Don't you think?"

_Shit, shit...how am I supposed to imagine Sasuke with you talking like that? Sakura-_san_? In my dreams, maybe. _She smiled and put on a polite voice, "Ah, yes. Sure."

Seconds later, they were positioned under a cherry blossom tree in uncomfortable silence. Sakura, determined and now staring ahead, was muttering 'Sasuke'. And Lee, who was sifting from foot to foot—obviously nervous.

As Lee gathered his courage, Sakura's seemed to falter, making her look away. How many minutes were spent as one looked up, and the other looked down—who knew? Did it matter? All that was important was that it wasn't ever going to end.

Going on, and on, it was…ongoing.

Until, finally, _both_ their heads snapped up, as if someone had called "GET ON WITH IT!" And so, their eyes locked and everything seemed to freeze. The annoying shouts and screams of the children playing nearby disappeared and Sakura's merciless Sasuke-ing came to an end.

Rock Lee, self-proclaimed _Konoha's Blue_ _Beast_, leaned in.

Haruno Sakura, self-proclaimed _Prettiest Girl in Konoha_, braced herself, getting her chakra ready for healing (just in case).

A sudden thought came over Sakura, _this isn't so bad…he looks almost…cute—being all nervous like that. Not bad at all, the scenery is so peaceful too... _

She leaned in, closing her eyes, (Some might have been expecting this—) just as Lee leaned back out. Making poor Sakura trip and fall face first into the ground (she needed healing after all!).

"I'm sorry, Sakura-san, but we have forgotten something. Something our kiss can not do without, and I—"

"Yeah, yeah, Lee, just get on with it."

"Yes ma'am, my beautiful lady!" he saluted. _Saluted_. And guess what he did now? Lee, the crazy-green-spandex-loving boy grabbed a whole handful of 'blossoming cherry blossoms'—right off the tree (Sakura cringed again at this), and _sprinkled_ it all over the ground.

"Now we can stand on this beautiful ground, and share our first kiss!"

_First kiss? Boy, this will be your _only_ kiss_, Sakura thought, _if I were a wacky anime character…I would sweatdrop right now._

—  
**A/N: The line "Going on, and on, it was…ongoing." I can't say much there. Just—can I get any stupider? I think I will keep it for your laughs. But no flames about that please…T.T**

**I could make this into a mini series of all different pairings (typical and crazy) and make them have really intense moments but then at the very last second have one of them mess up. I COULD. If you guys would just review...**


	2. There's A First For Everything

**The Ruining of a Romantic Moment  
**TaurenLeaf **_Primary_**(Secondary is...dead now...)

**There's a First for Everything**

The atmosphere was heavy with fear. It was dark out, and the trees were swaying almost eerily. Their shadows lunged forward, prepared to swallow anyone who came in reach. Their leaves blew around as if they knew there was danger, and were pleased about it. Not even the wind gave mercy that night, huge gushes of nearly flesh-cutting air pierced the darkness.

A man burst out of the forest and into a clearing. He shouted over his shoulder as he ran, "Run away from here, Mitsuki! Save yourself!"

Uzumaki Naruto, age 16, laughed out loud.

An attractive woman, Mitsuki, leapt out herself, panting. "No! I won't ever leave you!"

This time, three bulldog-like men emerged from the forest, drooling at the sight of the cowering couple. The biggest and ugliest stepped forward. "You can't escape… You'll never get away…" he said, nasty leer at hand.

By now, Naruto was laughing so hard that his eyes were tearing. The few shouts of 'shut up!' were ignored.

The couple shrank back at the opposite end of the clearing. "W-We'll give you anything! Spare us!"

"AHAHAHA…he said SPARE US! How lame can he get?" Naruto laughed into the darkness.

"N-Naruto-kun…" the girl next to him said softly. She smiled nervously while dodging pieces of flying food. Food directed at Naruto, of course. "Maybe w-we should just go…"

"Yeah, dude! Listen to your girlfriend!" (Hinata blushed at that) a voice called out. "Get out of here! You're ruining the movie!" Naruto frowned, squinting in the dim room, trying to see what idiot would speak like that to _him_.

They actually weren't on a date. Tenten and Sakura had set them up, saying something about a group get-together, only to leave Hinata alone with…with…

"Fine!" he shouted back at the voice, now identified as one of Konohamaru's cronies. As they left, his gaze lingered sadly at the new flyer on the theater doors: a picture of him, with a long red, diagonal mark through it. 'Banned' it said.

"Hmph, who wants to go to your crap house anyway?" Naruto yelled, dragging Hinata along dramatically, muttering how anyone could kick such high level ninjas out of a movie theater; it would 'lose business'… He again ignored 'shut ups!' as Hinata stared uneasily at the hand around her waist. _Should I tell him now?_

"Well, Hinata-chan, let's go get something to eat!" he said cheerfully, once outside.

"Y-Yes."

—

—

"Thanks for the meal!" Naruto set his bowl down and looked up. "Ready to go, Hinata?"

"B-but, I haven't started eating..."

"Ahaha… Then I'll have another bowl while I'm waiting,"

Hinata stared down at the bowl in her hands with a strange look of concentration. _It's now or never! I have to do it. Oh…but what if he doesn't feel the same? Oh no…I can't do it! How am I ever going to tell him? _

"Hinata-chan? Are you okay?"

She blushed, "Yeah…" _Okay, I'll tell him now! _She looked up, making full eye contact with her crush for—how long? 5 years?—and nearly fainted. _Has he always looked that good…? _"N-Naruto-kun. I have to tell you something." _Oh my…_

"Hmm?" he said, noodles hanging from his mouth.

_Okay, here it goes!_ "Naruto-kun…I…I…r-really..." Hinata gulped, "like you!" _I really said it! _She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for a reply. _Oh no! He doesn't feel the same, what will I do? What will I do—_

Naruto exploded into laughter. His eyes were tearing up again and he really looked like he was having a hard time breathing. "I'm sorry, Hinata-chan! I just remembered—he said SPARE ME! Ahahahaha!" he took big gulps of air, trying to calm him self, "Okay, okay, what did you say? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

That night, Feburary 14th, was the first time Hyuuga Hinata hit Uzumaki Naruto. It wouldn't be the last, though.

* * *

**A/N: Ha... screw the reviews then, I like writing too much to care XD That, and the positive feedback at school, so I updated anyway (but really, 4 reviews? I know the first one was SakuLee and no one reads that...but from 230 hits...) **

**Review please! (hypocrite, yes I know) I'll update when I get an idea, and have enough reviews to make me happy... ;D**


	3. Tricked

**Tricked**  
_Primary (Lady Soysauce Junior)_

Shikamaru groaned. Whether it was from pleasure or anxiety or something troublesome, he wasn't clear. This always seemed to happen around her. His thoughts would be okay one second, and then the next, they would be all jumbled up and he wouldn't have a single clue of what he was going to say, which resulted in a seemingly dimwitted pause in speech. He hated it, and it was all her fault.

It was the first Saturday of the month, when ambassadors from Konoha's alliances would gather and hold a meeting. And so, every month for the past three months, she would stomp her way through the gates of Konoha. She, and her noise.

She would flash some sort of smirk-smile at him, and then whack him on his head for being late. Maybe that's what Shikamaru was groaning about.

He could hear the loud footsteps by now. He shut his eyes, and waited for the painful—"_Ah!_"

He hissed between his clenched teeth and pressed his palms against the new bump on his head, right next to the other three. "What was that for?" he said, as was the tradition.

"Where were you??" she yelled, "I waited at the gates for ten minutes! I'm five minutes late now! What kind of crappy escort are you??"

"A crappy one apparently…" he muttered, and pushing himself off the ground.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed, but nevertheless, headed off in the direction of the Hokage Tower.

-

It was after the meeting, three hours later, that she found him. He was lying on the grassy hill again, and she snuck up on him, hoping to get another whack in before the weekend ended.

Before she could even lift up her fan, she was caught by a lazy and obvious Kagemane.

"Oi, woman, what do you want?" he said, not breaking his gaze into the sky.

She hmph-ed and he let her go.

"Bum-bum, let's go get something to eat," she said, slightly flustered.

It was at that moment that Shikamaru decided she was like a cloud. Her mood was always changing, like how a cloud never kept its shape for too long. It was almost funny, comparing something as peaceful as a cloud to who he considered the most annoying, troublesome woman in his life.

-

They sat across from each other in a booth at Yakiniku Q, silently munching on their food. "So, Shikamaru…" she began.

"Hm?"

"I was wondering…is there anything you want to say to me?" she paused, "I mean, I'm leaving tomorrow, and there isn't a meeting next month… I won't see you for a while."

Shikamaru watched her as she uncomfortably shifted in her seat. He really had no clue what she was talking about.

"I don't know, I just thought you might…"

For some reason, Shikamaru imagined the strange cloud he had observed earlier. It had resembled the Sand kunoichi, with four spiky bundles sticking out. And maybe for the same reason, he abruptly straightened up, and bent across the table.

"Actually…." A serious expression took over his usual lazy and indifferent one.

He bent across further, until he was just barely an inch away from her. "I've been meaning to tell you…"

Shikamaru's fingers reached to brush the tip of her chin. He could feel her tense up, and hold her breath. Soon he had his whole hand cupping her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her skin as he moved his way over to her ear to give it a quick tug. She sharply let go of her breath, and gave in to a slight shiver. He smirked, and let his voice drop a few more pitches into a husky murmur before continuing.

"You know…" he stopped and steadily dragged his eyes into her gaze, "I'm worried about you…"

She blinked an astonished blink and replied shakily, "O-Oh?"

"So what's been stressing you?" Shikamaru abruptly leaned out, "…I noticed that there's _another_ wrinkle on your forehead this time."

His cloud froze, and he took the time for another stab in the gut.

"And, _my_, is that a _white hair_?"

Faster than Naruto could crack open chopsticks in front of steaming ramen, Shikamaru was on the floor, with a heavy shoe grinding into his face. He now had five bumps on his head.

* * *

**AN:** **Haha… half a year since I last posted. Anyway, I hope this is passable, and thank you Coke (again) who I can't seem to write without anymore...  
**


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